I Feel It - $nerdyjessc

 Send me a $1 request on Cashapp and I'll grant it. Lol this is a test to see if anyone reads my blog. The other one (donotmesswithjess.blogspot.com) was poppin' bruh. But for good reason, I had to let it go. I'll say though, it's kind of nice to be publicly private on here. (Am I?? 👀) That's how it feels at least. Thank you to anyone who reads any thing I write. I truly appreciate you.

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With all that said, let me get to what I want to talk about. 

When someone, anyone is talking about you in a negative way... don't listen. It's fuel on an angry fire. Clearly there's already an at issue at hand with them of some kind. Though it can be hard because of curiosity, let them vent while you keep your peace. Or find your peace. I've seen people have a big, crazy argument, finally come to a stop and then it starts up again because of overhearing shit talk. Ex: "He just mad cause his ugly ass knows I'm right. And he lied," then boom here he comes bustling in to argue with you what was said. I have avoided stress and anger by simply not listening to things that people who don't like me, who don't fully know me, who don't have my best interest at heart had/have to say. This goes for reading it as well. Right now some asshole can make an indirect post, and say they've seen me do drugs and I wouldn't know. Some one would have to tell me and I'd just laugh. Then I'd tell them please don't relay no crazy shit like that to me any more. Because I don't care about any lies spoke on me. In my younger days, it did bother me. Oh I have had my soul irked by false accusations. But now? Any one who chooses to believe lies said in regards to me, does not know me, so I'm not worried about what they THINK of me. 

Some times the truth can also be said in anger. Often times it is truths from the past. Example being, you confront them about a current behavior. So they bring up something they deem worse than that, that you did years ago. The thing with that is, any one that would bring up my past doesn't want me to spill the tea on theirs. I'd try my best not to go there. As bringing up my past doesn't affect me like it used to. But others might be heavily affected. 

Trust it when an Aquarius says they DGAF. When we say we DGAF we really truly don't lol. Especially February Aquarius. Btw shout-out to the Feb Aqua girls, every single one I ever known/met is so sweet. Fact.

If I felt like some one didn't like me they wouldn't have access to me anyway. You're likely not on my social media. As I'm not on yours. I don't go looking on a profile of someone who talks badly about people, so I never see the shit they have to say. If some one starts talking bad about me or some one I care about in ear shot I block it out. You wouldn't upset me and ruin my day talking about my dead relatives, if I can't even hear or choose to not read what you say. My momma came to me in a dream and said she doesn't like a particular individual who kept speaking negatively on her. I was like shiiiiiiid same here. That's why they aren't on my friends list and those wreckless, violent messages sent to my inbox weren't ever responded to. Why be negative, think negatively, behave negatively or subscribe my mind in any way to any negative bullshit at all...when I don't have to? My mental health may have had me in a state where I felt like I had to before. I definitely wanted to know what every one felt about me when I was younger. I would closely listen to them talk about how negatively they felt about me. I've slowed my breathing so I can clearly hear a false accusation. Just to get angry, offended, hurt and have a hard time shaking it off. I don't have to shake it off now because things like that just do not enter my mind. 

A way I see it, why listen in when I could be giving my daughter kisses? Why think about what might be being said when I could be praying? Why go read a posts that potentially have something negative to say when I could be reading a good book? Why do anything negative, say anything negative or think negatively when I could be doing all that positively instead? Bruh I swear it feels better to just talk with God, give gratitude for the good things in life and keep it pushing. 

I say all this to say, I'm a much happier person in life these days. Because of doing what's better to do more often than not. In June like this at that? This month used to kick my ass hard emotionally. Motherhood has blessed me to truly see the bright side. To find the good. To take things as they are. But to also make changes where needed. To be very thankful, more thankful than I ever have before! To just go with the phuqing flow. I go where the wind blows, no use arguing with the wind! Nature's flow is a natural force, if you let it, it'll blow the good things meant for your right your way. 

Shout-out to Laura Grimes. You are one of the nicest people I ever met and I thank you for saying the same about me. Laura started me on a different mental health healing journey when I was pregnant. I hadn't ever gone to counseling before. More on that in my next book, ha. But yeah therapy will truly bless you, I encourage any one who feels they made need to seek it diligently. 

God is with me. I feel it ever so strongly. Thankful. ♥️